Turns out marriage may not be the best option for women.
And for men, it’s the total opposite.
For the longest time, many women have held the belief that marriage might be the key to a happier and more fulfilling life.
However, as we continued to evolve, some of us turned our backs on that belief and chose to find other ways of achieving that much sought-after happiness, choosing to rather focus on self-love and drinking tall glasses of wine.
And as it turns out, we may have been on to something. That is, according to the findings of a study conducted by behavioural science professor at the London school of Economics, Paul Dolan.
Kris Jenner is “happy” with Corey Gamble, but doesn’t want to get married again because she’s worried marriage will “mess up” her romance.
According to Guardian, in his latest book Happy Ever After, Paul used data from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), which compared the happiness levels of a group of unmarried, married, divorced, widowed, and separated adults to find his outcome – women who choose not to get married and not to have kids will not only be happier, but healthier too.
Paul explained to The Guardian that married couples had initially been “happier” when asked about their happiness levels, while their partners were in the same room as them. However, as soon as their partners were away from view, the truth came out.
Most of them had confessed to being “miserably” married. People who were unmarried were considerably happier.
“Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: f** miserable,” he said while speaking at the Hay Festival.
Paul also went on to explain that marriage, unlike for women, is good for men. The reason for this according to him, is that when married, men “take less risk, earn more money and live a little longer”.
“If you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother,” he says.
One might attribute that to the patriarchy that has, for many decades, put some men under the impression that their wives should be treated as less than, but that’s a conversation for another day.
Shelley Lewin, Cape Town-based relationship expert and life coach, thinks the reason why women who remain unmarried are happier is because they can form the same kind of bonds with friends they would have with a husband, while men on the other hand, only show their emotional sides to their partners
“All human beings need to connect and bond. It is in our DNA and we are social beings regardless of gender,” she says.
“Generally speaking, women are nurturers and can create a ‘tribe’ or ‘sisterhood’ with other women, which fulfills their need to connect and bond without the need to marry and have kids.
“Men generally tend to be emotionally vulnerable only with their partners which is why the results might be reflecting these stats,” she adds.
Women who remained unmarried after the age of thirty (and even younger) were previously often frowned upon by society, but at least now you can take comfort in the fact that marriage need not be the be-all and end-all of life.
Hopefully this will also take off some of that pressure that mom’s been putting on you.
Why people cheat in September
The month of September has a lot of sentiments to it.
From being declared the beginning of spring to the beginning of a new year – September is often deemed a month of new beginnings.
While many things begin to blossom this month, another trend also sadly follows suit.
According to recent trends, a lot of people seem to cheat in their relationships during September.
According to metro.co.uk, a lot of couples experience partners who cheat on them during this month.
The publication reports a surge in cheating, according to dating site illicitencounters.com.
It reports that couples return from holiday, and want to start their post-pandemic life by straying from their partners.
Research shows that autumn abroad shows a spike in affairs every year due to post-holiday effects.
The website also claims that the record number of couples will return from a summer break looking for a new partner after becoming fed up with their other half.
The site further reveals that during September, when a lot of people return to their respective jobs, workplace affairs are also very common.
After a survey of 2 000 site members of illicitencounters.com was conducted, 78% said the return to the office and a move away from working from home would make it easier to have an affair.
A further 54% of couples have reassessed their relationships during the pandemic.
Furthermore, September, followed by January and February, are the top months when people sign up on the website.
The survey further revealed that 34% of women and 32% of men felt less passion for their partners post the pandemic.
Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni agreed that September was a busy month for lovers.
“September is always the busiest month of the year for affairs, and that is why we call it Sex-tember,” said Jessica.
Must know changes in sex life after 30!
Your sex experience is different when you are a teenager, in your 20s, 30s and it keeps changing as you grow older. From knowing what you want to reaching a climax, many things change.
If you are in your 30’s then here are some important things you need to know about those changes in your sex life.
- The desire may not be as strong
Once you are in your 30s, it is not necessary that you feel as strong a desire to do it as you did earlier. Some do feel that this is the best time for them but many do not. The urge starts depleting in some cases. The stress in life is generally the culprit which could be that of kids, family, work or even the want to look fit all the time.
If you have been on a birth control pill, your urge to have sex may have lowered due to that as well. The pills prevent ovulation so that lowers testosterone. You feel dryer and it is not very comfortable due to that when you are at it. Which is why you must invest in good lubricants and speak to your gynae about your issue, she may have other suggestions.
3. Lower frequency
Of course if the desire is not so much anymore, your frequency of doing it also lowers. You need to quit pressurising yourself to achieve that certain number a week. This is not a movie but real life. So have this conversation with your partner about the same so that you both are on the same page.
4. Easier orgasm
Many women, with age, know what they want and what works for them in the end. The positions, the right places and thoughts. So this makes getting an orgasm easier. In the 20’s we are still figuring out our bodies, our likes and turn offs.
In case you have not already, then you sooner will realise that you have started experimenting even more as you have become more comfortable with your body. The maturity that sets in with age most of the time brings us in peace with our looks, helps us figure out what we can do and not do and experiment accordingly. For some shyness goes away as we embrace ourselves for who we are and what our needs are.
Why women fall for bad boys
They are dangerous, uncouth and we know they are trouble. Yet many women fall for the bad guys be it the villains in movies or in real life. Ever wondered why?
Here are a few answers we can think of which could be the key reason why!
Many are attracted to men that ooze masculinity which could be a bit over exaggerated as well. If you notice, the villains in movies are well built, have a great baritone which makes us go weak in the knees. Their sense of style exudes the trait of being daring too. In real life we may not want them for long term or see a future with them but for dating, somehow we want to sweeped off our feet by them.
2. Free spirit
It is a social pressure especially in our country that the girl has to be ‘sundar susheel’ and be able to do house chores and what not – a debate for another time. We “should be” compliant and agreeable. In reality, we all love freedom to be ourselves and bad boys have that spirit in them because they do what they like and want. We too want it so we feel we can be the same with them too!
3. Forbidden fruit
How many times are we asked to stay away from a particular man or a boy and told he is forbidden? It is but human nature that we feel more attracted to do something and go for a person for whom the line has been drawn. They are different and it is those uncharted waters that attract us.
No we women do not need protection as such but many women tend to like it in the start of the relationship. Even if we know that the bubble will break later, the attention in the beginning is unbeatable. Many women feel cherished by such men.
5. Someone we can change
This hope that we can change him, be his therapist, is often met with a disastrous ending but some women tend to take up human projects. It makes us feel important to the other.
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