A man in Mexico, who always thought that bigger is better, is very disappointed as women run away from him as soon as they see his long manhood.
52-year-old Roberto Esquivel Cabrera of Saltillo, said that his manhood currently measures at 18.9 inches.
According to WWWN, Cabrera complained that his manhood is so long that it hangs well below the knee. He recently requested that his manhood be recognized by the Guinness Book of Records as the world’s longest.
He also filed a petition with city officials to be recognized as disabled, saying that his long manhood is keeping him from having a normal job. To satisfy the Guinness Book of Records, Cabrera underwent a medical examination and had an x-ray done of his organ.
Doctors who examined Cabrera, said that he has a lot of hanging skin. Cabrera does not have a girlfriend, as women freak out as soon as they see him unclad. Doctors recommended that Cabrera undergo a reduction operation.
Traditional court fines Robert Mugabe’s widow Grace five cows and two goats for ‘improperly’ burying her husband
The widow of former Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe has reportedly been fined five cows and two goats for ‘improperly’ burying her husband after he passed away.
A traditional court met on Thursday morning in the absence of Grace Mugabe, to reach their decision, a source close to the family said.
The former first lady, known as Gucci Grace because of her lavish spending lifestyle, is accused of burying her husband, who died in 2019 at the age of 95, in the courtyard of his home in Kutama.
Chief Zvimba, born Stanley Mhondoro, said Mugabe was supposed to be buried in a place chosen by his mother or immediate family. He then called for the body to be exhumed and reburied according to custom.
At the time of Mugabe’s death, there was a dispute between Grace Mugabe and President Emmerson Mnangagwa over where Robert should be buried.
Mnangagwa wanted Mugabe to be interred in the National Heroes Acre burial ground and national monument near Harare. While Grace wanted her husband to be buried in his hometown, away from the capital city.
Robert Mugabe, who ruled Zimbabwe for 37 years had a strong grudge against his former vice president Mnangagwa, who was placed in charge of the country after Mugabe was forced to resign in November 2017.
I was number one in class: Eight lies parents told you when you were a kid
Being a parent is a tough, but enjoyable lifetime experience. A mother will always be quick to throw in a creative, well-placed lie to either keep a child in check or avoid a question she would rather not answer – questions like where do babies come from or why is Uncle Ben’s tummy so big, could he be pregnant? Mothers are brilliant at deception. That’s why they can easily manage children.
Here are 8 lies parents, over the decades, have dished out to their children:
- Cartoons sleep at night
Kids love cartoons. Sometimes, getting them to sleep at night is impossible when a favourite a cartoon programme is on. So, a mother tells them that cartoons characters also sleep.
- The chicken wants to be eaten
Lying to a child could be necessary if the little one is to feast on meat. So, a mother would say that chickens always want to be eaten as it gives them joy to be chosen as food. So, toto, here’s some chicken wings, go ahead make the kuku happy! That prevents kids from breaking down into tears if they really liked the kuku when it was alive! To make them eat cabbages, a mother would say without batting an eyelid that, “Eat the mboga my son, when it gets to the stomach, it will turn into meat!”
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- You have 10,000 words a month
You have only 10,000 words to use per month is the perfect ‘weapon’ to silence talkative kids who yap beyond their “monthly quota,’ especially kama kuna wageni (if there are visitors) to whom they might reveal the family secret with an embarrassing question like, “Mummy mbona daddy ali kuchapa jana?”
- Kids are bought from supermarkets
Kids always ask where their week-old sibling has come from: God, soko, tumepewa na aunt Julia and the supermarket are good answers to shut them up.
- Kissing will give you worms
This only works for a couple of years until the little brats grow into teenagers and discover that doing with the lips what the hands do has its pleasures.
- Mum and dad play at night
Mum, who really had a helluva hell of a time last night, would explain to the inquisitive toto that, “Those funny noises you heard coming from our bedroom last night were just mummy and daddy playing.” And in a way she might not be lying. Really!
- I was number one in class
All parents used to perform extremely well in school. They will then add, “Sijui hii number last yako umetoka nayo wapi, hii sio damu yetu!”
She wants to sleep with you if she says any of these
A man who’ll never be invited to the world of secret love making is the drunkard. If you regularly get drunk then trash talk people, male or female, forget about being called to the side and offered secret love making because you my friend is a risky investment, sounds funny right? But it’s true.
On the other hand, If you’re sober and women
consider you a potential Secret Lover; they will drop you hints.
Everytime you hear women say the following just know its a compliment and they see you as a prospective cheat partner.
“You’re so quiet” or “why are you so quiet?”
“You don’t have many friends do you?”(of which you agree with “I do my things alone”, or “I don’t want people judging me” if she asks why you’ll be judged tell her you sometimes do crazy things)
“You look like a good guy” (of which you should disagree with “if only you knew”, or something like that)
If you seduce a committed woman or just any taken woman, she’ll tell you “It’s wrong”. Your job is not to convince her it’s not wrong. Yours is to convince her NO ONE WILL FIND OUT. To women, to be good = to appear good. Women are creatures of appearance.
How people perceive a woman is how she perceives herself. If she can do the most debased stuff and people still think she’s pure then she’s pure. You capitalize on her nature by always saying “No one has to know”.
It may appear to cheesy, but Always repeat such slogans like “A gentleman never kiss and tells” and “Stolen sweets are best” etc.
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